It’s tough when a parent is struggling with addiction. You might feel confused, scared, angry, or even embarrassed. It’s important to know that these feelings are normal, and you’re not alone. This article will give you some steps to take if you’re in this situation.
1. Understand Addiction:
Addiction is a disease, just like diabetes or heart problems. It changes how the brain works, making it incredibly hard for someone to stop using drugs or alcohol, even if they really want to. It’s not a sign of weakness or a lack of willpower.Most importantly, it’s not your fault. No matter what, you did not cause your parent’s addiction.
2. Recognize the Signs:
Sometimes it’s hard to tell if someone has a problem. Here are some things you might notice:
- Changes in Mood: Your parent might be more irritable, angry, sad, or withdrawn. They might have big mood swings.
- Changes in Habits: They might start missing work or school, stop doing things they used to enjoy, or become secretive.
- Changes in Appearance: They might look tired, sick, or have changes in their eating or sleeping habits.
- Relationship Problems: They might argue more with family members or friends.
- Financial Issues: They might have trouble paying bills or ask to borrow money.
- Lying or Stealing: They might lie about their drug or alcohol use or steal money or things.
3. Talk to a Trusted Adult:
This is the most important step. Keeping secrets about addiction makes things worse. Find a safe adult you can talk to, like:
- Another family member: A grandparent, aunt, uncle, or older cousin.
- A teacher or school counselor: They are trained to help kids with tough situations.
- A doctor or therapist: They can provide professional support.
- A trusted friend’s parent: Sometimes talking to someone outside the immediate family can be helpful.
- A support group: Alateen (for teens affected by someone else’s drinking) or Nar-Anon Family Groups (for families and friends of addicts) can be incredibly helpful. These groups understand what you’re going through.
4. Express Your Feelings:
It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Talking about it can help. You can try:
- Talking to the adult you trust: They can listen and offer support.
- Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings.
- Drawing or painting: Expressing yourself creatively.
- Talking to a therapist: A therapist is a professional who can help you understand and cope with your feelings.
5. Know What You Can Control:
You can’t control your parent’s addiction. That’s a hard truth, but it’s important to remember. You can control:
- Talking to someone: Getting support for yourself is crucial.
- Taking care of yourself: Eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, exercise, and do things you enjoy.
- Setting boundaries: This means protecting yourself. It might mean saying “no” to things you’re not comfortable with, not covering up for your parent, or leaving a situation if you feel unsafe.
6. Remember You Are Not Alone:
Many kids go through similar experiences. It can feel isolating, but you’re not the only one. Talking to others who understand can be incredibly helpful.
7. Seek Professional Help (for yourself!):
Even if your parent doesn’t get help, you can. Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you cope and develop healthy ways to deal with the situation. It’s okay to get help for yourself, even if your parent isn’t ready.
What Not to Do:
- Don’t blame yourself: You are not responsible for your parent’s addiction.
- Don’t try to fix them: You can’t force someone to stop using drugs or alcohol. Only they can make that decision.
- Don’t keep secrets: Talking to someone is important for your safety and well-being.
- Don’t put yourself in danger: If your parent is acting in a way that makes you feel unsafe, remove yourself from the situation and go to a safe place.